This mother of 2 kids born by ICSI IVF shares her experience, and what she has learnt in the process.
“They say that being a mother is the most wonderful thing a woman can live.
Yes, it’s true. At least for me it is. Sometimes we can’t even find the words to describe the love of a mother for her child, because “you can’t really understand it unless you’ve actually lived it.
But what happens when you can’t realise that dream? When nature seems to be telling you that this wonderful experience is not for you?
For a majority of people, the great adventure of parenthood begins with an intimate moment between two persons who love each other. But for 15% of us, the beginnings are far from being as romantic…
Instead of a tender or passionate moment with the loved one, the date is with a doctor who’s neither tender nor passionate.
Instead of happiness and euphoria, we experiment stress, fear, disappointment, and even jealousy and guilt for being jealous.
Instead of inspiring words such as pure love of gift of life, we talk about “infertility”, “assisted reproduction”, “insemination” or “in vitro fertilisation”.
How nice, right?
Yes, it’s true. Being a mother is the most wonderful thing a woman can live. But for some of us (more and more actually), it’s not a bed of roses.
Much to my surprise, it was my case.
As far as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mum. When the doctors told us we had no other option but submit ourselves to IVF, my universe fell apart.
The process was long and tough, marked by failures, stress, anxiety… and a lot of solitude.
Solitude because I didn’t know anyone in my situation.
Solitude because this is also one of these things that “you can’t really understand unless you’ve actually lived it” – but people who live it do so in the most absolute silence.
Solitude because these are things that people just don’t talk about: by shame, by fear, by superstition… Infertility is a taboo people don’t like to mention.
Now I’m the happy mother of 2 beautiful kids.
Obviously, I owe it to my assisted reproduction doctors who, despite the ugliness of the expression, do a splendid work.
I also owe to some natural therapists (osteopathy, acupuncture, massages, psychological support), who helped me relax and optimize the fertility treatments.
And I owe to these persons: friends, family, colleagues, who forced me to open myself and to talk about it, and who gave me the support I so much needed.
These moments are behind me now, but they definitely marked my first steps as a mother, made me grow in a certain way and look at family and life with a different perspective.
Today I want my experience to serve as an example to other people like me – I want them to know that there are solutions not to live the whole process suffering, being anxious and lonely.